A golden connection that every individual comes across once, twice or sometimes thousands of times in their lives, it is basically the initiation of everything good. With friends comes beautiful memories, lots of happy hours and unwavering loyalty that never dies down no matter how many years go by.
However, with changing times, unfortunately this beautiful term has also faced tremendous degradation. Almost every day news regarding betrayals in friendships is being reported from all over the world, thereby leading people to question the very basis of this once fulfilling relationship.
So, without any further ado, let’s unveil the secrets to decoding the truth behind so-called ‘friends’ and their effect in your life.
What is Friendship in modern times?
Just like many evils, nowadays some individuals just love the idea of getting close and then stabbing on their friend’s back, when least unexpected. They come bearing illusionary masks that even though may appear loyal and honest in the initial phases, might be the exact opposite in reality. Such ‘friends’ gain happiness and satisfaction by creating problems for their closed ones, and hence should never be fully trusted, ever.
Making friendship nowadays is like looking for a needle in a haystack. You may get thousands of online friends, a group of 20 or more local friends, and whatnot, but in dire situations, only a few or even none would be standing with you. Humans have become so immersed in the concept of money making that they have forgotten the importance of true friendship and friends.
How to recognize bad friendships?
Unlike what many suppose friendship (similar to any other relationship out there) doesn’t come with a guide book. It is all about personal experiences, using your brain, and listening to your guts. History is witness that blindly rowing your boat thinking everything will work out is the work of a dumb person, and only leads to ultimate loss at the end.
So, how do one recognize bad friendships before it’s too late to return??? Well, don’t worry. Below are some pointers that can help you with your quest of eradicating all toxic friends from your life, and who knows maybe get you genuine friends in return.
- They remember you when they need something
Ever felt like you are on your friend’s speed dial only when they need something from you??? Maybe cover them on a blind date or worse, load you with extra work because their boyfriend has come over!!! Disgusting, right???
If such is the case, don’t think twice honey. Friendship is all about equal sharing of love, work, respect, happiness, and tears. You can’t just keep on helping them out and serve as their beck and call, just because they had opened up to being friends first. Who knows, maybe using you was their plan all along!
- You are the listener
As we said above, it takes two paddles to sail a boat safely, and hence in friendship both parties need to participate equally for the relationship to work out. You can’t just keep on listening to their sad stories, one after another, without being given the chance to talk about your feelings.
Darling, you are not their Chaperone. Always remember that. So, if you don’t find yourself able to talk or participate in the convo, it’s time to find new friends.
- They make disrespectful comments, always
Now, let’s be genuine. Best friends do know how to pull legs but they never do in front of a crowd or cross their boundaries with you. They can surely pass some humorous comments every now and then, which is just to make you laugh and nothing more.
However, if your so-called bestie has been doing the same, behind the facade of ‘friendly-humour’ and most importantly on a regular basis, you need to stop being friends with them. There is a very subtle difference between ‘best-friend humour’ and ‘humour meant to disrespect you in front of others’. And if the reason is the latter, you are definitely better off without them.
- They are never genuinely happy for you
Got a salary hike, but your office bestie somehow ended up arguing with you??? Be Aware, this is the prime example of a toxic friend. A true friendship is when your friend walks by you when you are down and the happiest when you are happy. They never find reasons to argue or make you feel otherwise when you achieve something in your life.
So, now you know whom to avoid and whom to keep.
- They bring unwanted drama into your life
Best friends are all about fun, chillin’ and being there for each other. Staying with a real friend will never leave you time that you could waste away by inviting drama into your life, nor watch it unfold with your so-called friends. A good friend will always help prevent any unwanted scenes from popping into your life, no matter if it’s professional or personal.
- They lie too much
Everyone has their own lives and choices, it’s a common fact. However, if you find your friend straight lying to you regularly, to maybe maintain their pure or innocent image, then it is a huge red-flag. While lying is considerably fine, given there is a valid reason behind that, constant lying denotes the person’s selfish nature.
Such people are never worried about the consequences of living their life covered with lies and hence can never be trusted fully.
- They pressure you to do certain things you dislike
Another red-flag in friendships is when your friends are forcing you to do something which you dislike or are in no mood of. A ‘No’ is always a ‘No’ and the next person needs to respect that.
However, in case they start taunting or making bad remarks in a bid for you to do the action, you know better what needs to be done. Stay away from such friends and anyone that applies peer pressure for something that is unethical for you.
There are numerous ways through which you can recognize a bad or toxic friendship. Thus, you may face the ones mentioned above or have your unique experiences that will make you learn the harsh realities of life much appropriately.
What happens when we trust the wrong person?
As a wise person once said, “People make the mistake of choosing the wrong person first, and when the right person arrives they just stop trusting people.”
A toxic friendship can go wrong in many ways. Some examples include:
- You will mostly end up lonely and isolated.
- The constant negativity around you may also show in all your other relationships.
- You will automatically be more stressed which might affect your personal and professional life as well.
- You will start having trust issues even with the right kind of friends.
- Your self-image may get deduced due to your wrong friend-circle.
- You will eventually start losing yourself and be someone you weren’t before.
- Such a friendship may also cause you to have low self-esteem, heightened anxiety and no willpower.
If you find yourself in any of these situations, you need to get out of there ASAP. As a human being, you have the right to close a friendship at any time, anywhere, given that there is a valid reason, and you have talked out about the same with the person in question. In case they don’t show any motives of changing their behaviour towards you or overally, why should you punish yourself by staying in such an association???
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